Spokesman for the US secretary of defense, Colonel Stopitnow, had this to say “The decision of North Korea to launch online bingo sites aimed directly at Americans with much bigger payouts and huge sign up bonuses is something we can not tolerate. Bingo players, not only in the US but across the world will be put at risk from possibly not receiving checks in the post because the postal system in North Korea is at best non existent. We need to protect, look after and give our citizens something more to worry about for the sake of our western way of life.” News Cable No New News Today (NCNNNT) welcomed the statement.
North Korea has not denied the claims that it is in possession of online bingo developing software but refutes suggestions that online bingo sites will be targeted against America and insists any such online bingo sites are for domestic purposes only. A spokesman for North Korea, General Hilownum, who wished not to be named, said. “This is another example of the US having a go at us. We do not have the delivery capabilities of long range online bingo sites because we only have 486 PC computers. The Americans know this full well because they only gave them to us last year when we agreed to stop selling anything we produce to any other country.
This explanation was given credibility by the recent UN leisure figures that list countries in order of possible leisure activities. North Korea was second to last in the list, Antarctica being at the bottom.
Asked why the United States had not protested when China launched its first online bingo site last week, and where US bingo players now number in the twenties, Colonel Stopitnow answered. “China has a big army, big oil and gas reserves and provides US citizens with vast quantities of cheap plastic household goods. What has North Korea got to offer us, Zilch.”
Do not sign up for dodgy online bingo sites, sign up with Funtime bingo where American players are most welcome and winnings are guaranteed to be paid. Comrades of North Korea can only join if they hold a valid credit card and promise not steal online bingo game ideas.
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